Poem: Afraid

I am afraid,
that I may implode on myself.
 
Broken pieces scattered across the floor; my vulnerability exposed,
for all the moths to latch on to.
 
I am afraid,
to speak up for myself.
 
The sound of my voice echoes off these four pink walls in my room, yet my voice
blends with the loud external choir, gradually dimming away,
leaving silent screams trapped within.
 
I am afraid,
to look at my reflection.
 
The scars, the stretch marks, the stiffness of my hair, my small eyes that hold so much life
yet, endlessly burdened by MY past, MY present and, my future… 
 
Society will not accept me.
 
This camouflage draped over me is wearing out.
I can no longer hide the cracked vessel I am in.  
 
Society will not accept me.
All I have left are my insecurities, a long supercut clouding my vision leaving me
to stumble to and fro…
All I have left are sharp poisonous words, running through my mind
like a never-ending carrousel…
All I have left, are my fears.
 
I am afraid,
I will lose me.
 
But I will burn what remains of this camouflage, alongside every thought
that taunts me, picks at me, eats at me.
And what will remain in the ashes,
is the Phoenix within me, ready to burst with life.
 
And I will no longer be afraid.

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