Interlude Monologues 1: Knights and Queens
My turn. I move the pawn in front of the queen. I try to match his game. Though, I’m not really sure why I’m doing it. Whenever someone’s a pawn in life, it’s never for the right reasons. So I let it flow. His turn. I let him reflect and after carefully considering all the options, he finally makes a move. Except, no move is ever the right one or is it? In chess, there’s no right or wrong move but the move you think is best for you.
He played the knight. Not really sure why he played the knight at this stage. It probably has to do with the way it moves in L-shape. I always find in chess, the knight is probably the most deceitful. The knight is ahead of the game when you least expect it to.
So, I move my knight too. Why am I mirroring his game? I like this dance between us every time we’re standing face-to-face. The way you do you and I do me. We like to pretend that we don’t but we know exactly what the other is thinking. I like how we don’t use words to express how we feel. When we play you do a move and I follow. Why is it me following you?
This time I follow up and I move the queen. Now I’ve left you wondering why I moved the queen instead of a pawn. Well, I guess I’m done being your henchman when you need one. This is my game too. Are we dancing? I think we are.
He makes a move. His knight draws back. Now I’ve got the upper hand. I need to tread carefully, consider all the options, I don’t wanna lose it. The upper hand. Gotta keep an open mind while my head is in the game. You wanna win, you need to be patient. You can’t hesitate. Breathe. You wanna win, you gotta keep him locked in your dance until the time is right for you to attack.
In a game of chess, you either win or you lose. You can’t anticipate or you won’t see the bigger picture. Perspective. You don’t wanna miss out on details or you risk losing the spot you needed to win the game.
So, I lay back. Re-allocate all my pieces and set out the trap. Now, I wait, he’s gonna take the bait. He has to. But when the unpredictable becomes predictable, it only takes one piece to make the tables turn.
Now, he is forcing me to make a move. I can either attack and unleash a series of counter-attacks between us until one of us eventually pins the other down and that would be it, the endgame; or I could play safe and save time. The thing is, I’m done playing safe and I don’t like wasting time. So, I act on it and my pawn has taken over his and now his bishop is taking over my knight and there’s only one pawn left when I realise he’s been foreseeing my moves all along. Of course. He knew my thinking. He knew my soft spot. He knew my game. He drew his knight back to let me think I had it all under control. By acting suspiciously, I ended up being a pawn in his game instead.
In a game of chess, if you make the wrong move, that’s your downfall. He had my heart up his sleeve and when I gave it away, when I least expected it, he used it against me. We were dancing before but he’s left me halfway through, leaving me on the dance floor, alone. He used the knight to get me where he wanted me to be.
He moves in L-shape. I move in a straight line. Thinking I had a chance. But did I? I thought he could be the knight and I could be the queen. But as soon as he drew back his knight, I knew what it meant. I wanted to tell him but no words came out of my mouth. I took in the silence and let it sink in. I won’t. I won’t tell him, I thought. But I have to, he needs to know that I, I don’t wanna dance anymore. I don’t wanna play knights and queens anymore. I just, I just really wanna tell him that I… But before I could even make a move and say it, he just…
Checkmate me and it was over.
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